Rethinking leadership: Are you "people smart"?

Benjamin Martin (BMartin@embracetheresistance.com) is the founder and President of ETR Leadership Solutions in Montpelier, VA.

Have you ever worked for a boss whose presence seemed to suck the air out of any room they entered? Somehow, they created an environment where everyone is afraid to make a mistake and is approaching burnout. This person can seemingly find fault in anything and anyone, and rarely takes a moment to celebrate their team before resuming their nitpicking. This boss also has control issues, where creativity is discouraged and people feel micromanaged. It’s so bad at times that you find yourself anxious about coming to work for fear of having to interact with that person. Perhaps worst of all, they are entirely oblivious to just how miserable they make everyone around them.

Have you ever worked for a boss that you were genuinely happy to see if they stopped in unannounced? You can’t quite put your finger on what it is exactly, but whenever this person comes around, you find yourself excited for a chance to show off the work your team is accomplishing. Even more so, you are eager to hear what they think about it — which seems almost always to be positive feedback paired with some occasional sprinkles of constructive criticism. The funny thing is, you find yourself craving the criticism more than the compliments. The comments are often insightful, and you appreciate the perspective. When the boss takes their leave, you can’t help but feel incredibly thankful for the time they made to visit and speak with you and your team. You always find yourself looking forward to the next opportunity to meet with them again.

Which one of the two individuals described above would you want as your boss? Neither description offered a promise of money, benefits, or career growth for choosing one boss over the other. Instead, each portrait painted a picture of how one might feel working for such a boss. It turns out that feelings matter very much in the workplace, and asking employees to leave their feelings at home when they report for work isn’t acceptable for leading today’s (or tomorrow’s) workforce.

“More than half of people who leave their jobs do so because of their relationship with their boss. Smart companies make certain their managers know how to balance being professional with being human. These are the bosses who celebrate an employee’s success, empathize with those going through hard times, and challenge people, even when it hurts.”

– Travis Bradberry, author Emotional Intelligence 2.0

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